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[Note - from "The Top Five List" - see credits at the end - ed.]
  
     The Top 15 Potential Problems With Cloning Humans  
  
  
15> Harder than ever to land a role in those new Wrigley's 
    commercials featuring the Doublemint Octuplets.  
  
14> Two words: Gilbert Gottfried(s)  
  
13> Any scientific advancement that stems from the result of 
    Scottish people doing strange things to sheep is bound to 
    have dire consequences.  
  
12> In mere weeks, Bill Gates (v1.0, v1.2, v2.0, v3.0, v3.1 & v5.0)
    has all the money on the entire planet.  
  
11> Hillary's husband discovers true multiple orgasms.  
  
10> If you think there are too many idiots shouting "Show me the 
    money!" on every occasion now, just wait.  
  
 9> Rush Limbaugh takes his self-affection to a whole new level, 
    and suddenly is IN FAVOR of same-sex marriages.  
  
 8> "Penn & Penn & Teller & Teller & Teller & Penn & Penn & Teller 
    & Penn" much harder to fit on comedy club marquee.  
  
 7> And you think it's hard to find your size now!  
  
 6> 18-month waiting list for George Clooney and Cindy Crawford 
    clones.  
  
 5> "Alternative" radio filled with even more Nirvana clones.  
  
 4> And the final score: the New York Gretzkys - 408, the 
    Pittsburgh Lemieuxs - 399.  
  
 3> Can no longer count on the Grim Reaper to get Jesse Helms out 
    of office.  
  
 2> Those apocalyptic words: "Ladies & Gentlemen: The John Tesh 
    Philharmonic Orchestra!"  
  
  
    and the Number 1 Potential Problem With Cloning Humans...  
  
  
 1> Seventeen Mark Fuhrmans, and suddenly OJ's defense doesn't 
    seem quite as far-fetched.  
  
  
   [ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]  
   [  *To forward or repost, please include this section.*  ]  
   [ The Top Five List    top5@walrus.com   www.topfive.com ]  


Selected from 143 submissions from 50 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors are:
----------------------------------------------------------------
John Voigt, Chicago, IL                    -- 1, 5 (6th #1) 
Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX               -- 2 
Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA                -- 2 
George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO         -- 2 
Gene/Cynthia Markins-Dieden, New Haven, CT -- 3 
Jeff Johnson, Daly City, CA                -- 4 
Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN                  -- 4 
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL                  -- 4 
Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA               -- 6 
Paul Seaburn, Houston, TX                  -- 7 
Jesse Garon, San Francisco, CA             -- 7 
Greg Pettit, Houston, TX                   -- 7, 14 
Tisha Stacey, St. Paul, MN                 -- 8 
JB Leibovitch, Oakland, CA                 -- 9 
Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA       -- 10 
Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA               -- 11 
Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA                  -- 12 
Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC                   -- 13 
Kris Kettner, Fond du Lac, WI              -- 14 
R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA                  -- 15 
LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA   -- 15 (Hall of Famer)
Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA              -- 15
----------------------------------------------------------------

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