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Hmm...let's see...you want to hear a story? It has to do with a persistent rumor that my driving skills are somewhat lacking. This story should put to rest all such idle gossip.

Last Saturday morning, I needed to get coffee to lift that not-quite-awake-yet morning fog. I shuffled into my car, drove down my street, and had to make a left onto a busy cross street. I kept inching forward to see if there was a clearing in the traffic, when it occurred to me that I had drifted out too far. I threw the car into reverse, hit the gas, and slammed into something. I thought it was a signpost, and couldn't help imagining how silly I must have looked backing into a signpost. The traffic cleared, I made the left and, looking back toward the area I had just left, saw a guy angrily getting out of his car to check his bumper. It was only then that I realised that I had backed into the car behind me. It simply never occurred to me to check my rearview mirror.

The next morning I was at the same intersection. The lady in front of me had also inched forward too far, and I saw her check her mirror, shift into reverse, and slowly backup. I thought to myself "you see that, you see how she checked her mirror before backing up, she's an excellent driver, I should reward such an excellent driver by making room for her." So I threw the car into reverse, hit the gas, and slammed into the car behind me.

[A true story. Excerpted from private email with permission of the author, who probably should remain anonymous.]

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