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 <Order>  Is each here?  Does each have his opposite? 
 <Chaos>  I am here, but my opposite is you. 
 <Order>  Huh? 
 <Evil>   Don't let him bug ya'.  We're here. 
 <Truth>  My opposite is not here. 
 <Good>   Is your opposite "Lies"? 
 <Truth>  My opposite is "Void."  He couldn't make it. 
 <Evil>   >snicker<  Figures! 
 <Order>  Agh!  How are we going to seat five!  This table is made for six! 
 <Evil>   Just take out his chair and move over.  Sheesh! 
 <Good>   I have the cards. 
 <Evil>   I've got the chips. 
 <Truth>  I have the beer. 
 <Chaos>  I have the cards! 
 <Order>  Shut up. 

 ... 

 <Order>  Whose deal is it? 
 <Evil>   Do ya' gotta ask that EVERY time? 
 <Truth>  It is Good's deal. 
 <Good>   OK, five card draw...uh, everything is wild. 
 <Evil>   How can anyone win if everything is wild? 
 <Good>   No ONE can win, but we all can call ourselves winners if... 
 <Order>  I like this game. 
 <Evil>   This is pointless. 
 <Truth>  It is time to deal. 
 <Good>   Here we go! Your bet, Truth. 
 <Truth>  Five. 
 <Order>  Five and raise you five. 
 <Evil>   Don't you morons get it?  It doesn't matter how much you bet! 
 <Order>  I like ten better. 
 <Evil>   >sigh<  Call. 
 <Chaos>  I fold. 
 <Evil>   YOU CAN'T LOSE! 
 <Chaos>  I still fold. 
 <Good>   OK, I'll call.  How many, Truth? 
 <Evil>   What's the point in taking more cards? 
 <Truth>  I will keep the cards I have. 
 <Order>  I will take two. 
 <Evil>   Why?!? 
 <Order>  I didn't like those. 
 <Evil>   None for me. 
 <Chaos>  I'll take six. 
 <Good>   Sorry, you folded.  Dealer keeps his.  Bets? 
 <Evil>   Oh, just get this over with. 
 <Order>  But now we have to bet! 
 <Evil>   Any money you put in, you're just gonna get back! 
 <Truth>  I am in agreement with Evil. Let us show our cards. 
 <Truth>  I have five aces. 
 <Order>  I have five ace of spades. 
 <Chaos>  I have a three. 
 <Good>   Please be quiet.  I also have five aces.  We all win. 
 <Evil>   Hold it, bub.  Six aces, read'em and weep. 
 <Good>   Where did you get that card? 
 <Truth>  He stole it from Chaos. 
 <Evil>   You know the rules, boys.  The pot's mine. 
 <Good>   That was a stupid game. 
 <Order>  Whose deal is it? 
 <Truth>  The dealer progression is opposite the deal.  Chaos deals. 
 <Chaos>  Whee! 
 <all but Chaos>  >groan< 
 <Chaos>  Eleven card stud-hold'em with threes, eights, jacks, and 
          kings wild...fives count as fours, fours count as nines, 
          and queens don't count unless there is a prime numbered 
          spade showing... 
 <Order>  I fold... 

[Ed: written by Brian Cash (bcash@nortel.ca), and originally appeared in talk.bizarre] 

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