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[Note - found in several places on the Net, all without attribution - ed.]

 How do you know if you're in love, lust, or marriage?
 
 
 
 LOVE -  when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
 LUST -  when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
 MARRIAGE - when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you
         don't care.
 
 LOVE -  when intercourse is called making love.
 LUST -  all other times.
 MARRIAGE - what's intercourse?
 
 LOVE -  when you argue over how many children to have.
 LUST -  when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
 MARRIAGE - when you argue over money.
 
 LOVE -  when you share everything you own.
 LUST -  when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
 MARRIAGE - when the bank owns everything.
 
 LOVE -  when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
 LUST -  when the relationship is over if you don't climax.
 MARRIAGE - what's a climax?
 
 LOVE -  when you phone each other just to say "Gidday".
 LUST -  when you phone each other just to organize sex.
 MARRIAGE - when you phone each other to find out what time your son's
         game starts.
 
 LOVE -  when you write poems about your partner.
 LUST -  when all you write is your phone number.
 MARRIAGE - when all you write is cheques.
 
 LOVE -  when you show concern for your partners' feelings.
 LUST -  when you couldn't give a shit.
 MARRIAGE - when your only concern is what's on TV.
 
 LOVE -  when your farewell is "I love you darling ...".
 LUST -  when your farewell is "So, same time next week?".
 MARRIAGE - when your farewell is silent.
 
 LOVE -  when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
 LUST -  when you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
 MARRIAGE - when you never see each other awake.
 
 LOVE -  when your heart flutters everytime you see them.
 LUST -  when your groin twitches everytime you see them.
 MARRIAGE - when your wallet empties everytime you see them.
 
 LOVE -  when nobody else matters.
 LUST -  when nobody else knows.
 MARRIAGE - when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.
 
 LOVE -  when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
 LUST -  when it's just the same mushy old shit.
 MARRIAGE - when you never listen to music.
 
 LOVE -  when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
 LUST -  when staying together is something you try not to think about.
 MARRIAGE - when just getting through today is your only thought.
 
 LOVE -  when you're interested in everything your partner does.
 LUST -  when you're only interested in one thing.
 MARRIAGE - when you're not interested in what your partner does and
         the one thing you're interested in is your golf score.

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