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Rev. Green

beckettr@ecid.cig.mot.com (Richard Beckett)
(chuckle, heard it)

					Reverend William Ignatious Green
					Rescue Mission
					6 Finella Terrace
					Lindhorn
					Glamorgan
Dear Jim,
	Perhaps you have heard of me and my nationwide campaign in the cause
of temperance. Each year for the past fourteen, I have made a tour of Britain
delivering a series of lectures on the evils of drinking.

On these tours I have been accompanied by my young friend and assistant Clyde
Bank. Clyde, a young man of good family and excellent background, is a
pathetic example of life ruined by excessive indulgence in whisky and women.

Clyde would appear with me at the lectures and sit on the platform drunk,
wheezing, staring at the audience through bloodshot eyes, sweating profusely,
picking his nose, belching, passing wind and making obscene gestures at the
ladies, while I would point him out as an example of what over indulgence can
do to a person.

This summer, unfortunately, Clyde died.

A mutual friend has given me your name and I wonder if you'd be available to
take Clyde's place on my 1995/6 winter tour.

	Yours faithfully,

		W.I. Green
		Reverend.

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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