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You, Moses!

prb@chinet.chinet.com (Paul Botts)
(smirk, religion, government)

Moses is sitting in the Egyptian ghetto, things are going terrible: the
Pharoah won't even talk to him, the rest of the Hebrews are mad at him
for making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He's about
ready to give up.

Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice speaks from above: "YOU, MOSES, HEED
ME. I HAVE GOOD NEWS, AND BAD NEWS."

Moses is staggered. The voice continues:

"YOU, MOSES, WILL LEAD THE
PEOPLE OF ISRAEL FROM BONDAGE. IF THE PHAROAH REFUESES TO RELEASE YOUR
BONDS I WILL SMOTE EGYPT WITH A RAIN OF FROGS.

"YOU, MOSES, WILL LEAD
THE PEOPLE OF ISRAEL TO THE PROMISED LAND. IF THE PHAROAH BLOCKS YOUR
WAY I WILL SMOTE EGYPT WITH A PLAGUE OF LOCUSTS.

"YOU, MOSES, WILL LEAD
THE PEOPLE TO FREEDOM AND SAFETY. IF THE PHAROAH'S ARMY PURSUES YOU, I
WILL PART THE WATERS OF THE RED SEA TO OPEN YOUR PATH TO THE PROMISED
LAND."

Moses is stunned. He stammers, "That's, that's fantastic, I can't
believe it! - but what's the bad news?"

"YOU, MOSES, MUST WRITE THE ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT STATEMENT."

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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