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Invest with Orange County now!

garyk@hpesds3.cup.hp.com (Gary Koerzendorfer)
(topical, smirk, government, original)

      Invest now with Orange County! The Treasury of Orange County
          has opened its services to the individual investor!

Features include:

* 10% return in the past. Of course, returns are not guaranteed and are
  subject to change. Read the prospectus carefully before investing.

* Recent shortfalls in performance were caused only by the presence of
  illegal immigrants employed in the Treasurer's office.

* Top deficit-fighters from the Reagan and Bush administrations have
  been brought in to advise.

* A one-time tax will be enacted on the three Democrats in the county.

* A bail-out package from Willie Brown is expected imminently.

* While in bankruptcy, the County won't be paying for the Pentium 
  systems used in managing the portfolio!



   [for non-California residents: Orange County, a conservative
   Republican stronghold, just declared bankruptcy because risky
   investments went sour; California voters recently passed a ballot
   initiative restricting basic state services to illegal immigrants;
   and Democrat Willie Brown, Speaker of the State Assembly for 14
   years, is engaged in a bitter struggle with Assembly Republicans to
   retain his position]

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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