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The recent story about trying to buy a sailboat reminded me of this tale told
to me by a friend:

My friend Dave needed to have his septic system cleaned out recently so
he called up a local company and made an appointment to get this done.
When the septic man arrived at the appointed time, Dave offered to help 
him.  

The offer of help was refused.  In fact, all such offers were now
refused by the septic cleaner ever since one guy was standing by, 
helping out, when the hose started sucking up a bunch of condoms.
The home owner looked at the rubbers and ran into the house.  It seems he 
didn't use condoms.

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