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	My wife took our youngest son out of school for a doctors
appointment in the middle of the day. Realizing at the last minute
that he had missed lunch at school, and pressed for time, she pulled into
the Drive-thru at McDonalds for a Happy Meal. What she got was a lesson 
in corporate politics, 90's style. If you think the government tiptoes
around sensitive issues, take a look at what the lawyers of a large 
consumer corporation have come up with. Remember, this is all on one
little paper bag:


From the anti-litter lobby:
	
	"Please put litter in its place"


From the environmental lobby:

	"Made from recycled paper*"

	"*65% post-consumer"


From the toy safety/please don't sue us lobby:

	"The toy in this bag has been safety tested for children age
	3 and over. CAUTION: Not intended for children under 3. Ask
	about special toys for kids under 3."


From the healthy food lobby:

	"These materials have been developed in cooperation with the
	AMERICAN DIETETIC ASSOCIATION."

	Subject of puzzles and games on bag:
		
	"Food FUNdamentals Happy Meal"

	A compilation of corny jokes and puzzles focused on the importance
	of proper nutrition. Lots of pictures of apples, bananas , grapes,
	carrots, and a carton of low-fat milk. Makes you wonder if these
	are obscure, non-identifiable objects for the average hardcore 
	customer.


From the corporate movement to aggressively defend trademarks:
	
	"The following trademarks are owned by McDonalds Corporation, 
	McDonalds, Happy Meal, and the Golden Arches logo.
	C 1992 McDonalds Corporation McD#92-047 FC#MCDY-399 Printed
	in United States of America (26172)"


	So the kid ate his politically correct cholesterol burger and 
greasy fries, drank his sugar-laden cola, broke the toy, ignored the health
food drivel, and spread his recycled paper trash, complete with a liberal 
application of ketchup, all over the van. Mom was happy because it was
convenient. The kid was happy because he got junk food. The lobbists were
happy because they got paid. The lawyers were happy because no one got
sued or wrote nasty letters. And the shareholders of McDonalds Corporation 
were happy, because they had realized profits on their 18 gazillionth burger.

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