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I thought that individuals on the net might be interested in 
these rules for organizations engaged in the pursuit
of social justice. 

1) It is important for social activists to put their best foot
   forward. Therefore, only physically attractive people should
   be put in positions of responsibility or shown to the public.

   Individuals with less charisma should be happy to lick
   envelopes on the sidelines. After all, they're helping
   to save the world, aren't they?

2) Organizations should be willing to establish their revolutionary
   credentials by showing how militant they are. That is,
   feminists should talk about how much they hate men, Palestinians
   about pushing the Israelis into the sea, Croats about how the
   Serbs are devils and Serbs about how the Croats are devils.
   Even the folks over at gay lib can make snotty remarks about
   "breeders."

   You see, there's only a limited amount of happiness in
   the world; and the quickest way to make sure your
   group gets some is to take it away from others.

3) Social activists should be supportive of one another. To
   do this, they must never question the views or policies of  
   any member of their group. Instead, it's better form to 
   express sympathy for an offending associate's psychiatric
   problems (as shown by her disagreement with you).

4) Social activists must wear ethnic clothes, particularly
   Guatemalan cottons at $50 a throw. I mean, who's going
   to take you seriously if you wear rags from Wal-Mart, huh?

5) People who want to change the world should take a personal
   responsibility for the ecology of the planet. Therefore, they should
   recycle everything possible, cook all their food from scratch,
   and bicycle to work, even if it's 20 miles away. If they read
   magazines, they should read them in the library; if they're
   premenopausal women, they should use washable protection.

   These measures may sound a little extreme, but they aren't
   going to take more than four or five hours a day, are they?

6) Those engaged in the fight for social justice should be warm and
   human. This warmness and humanness is shown by shunning cold,
   heartless, middle-aged white male activities like mathematics and
   science.

   In academia teaching is always more acceptable than research (i.e.,
   trying to really understand the ecology of the planet).

7) Activists must try hard to maintain their intellectual
   respectability. Therefore, they should not use the language
   of daily life to discuss the problems of ordinary people.
   Words from philosophy and psychology are so much more precise,
   aren't they? In specific, no one should ever write anything radical
   without using the words "postmodern" and "deconstructive" at
   least once.

   In the same vein, remember how Kant said a good deed done to
   someone you like doesn't count? Well, these Kantian principles
   can be deconstructed (in a postmodern manner, that is) to mean 
   that a book you enjoy reading isn't really teaching you anything.
   (Therefore, to understand the society you live in, you should
   read a lot of dull books.)

8) Finally, above all, activists should not have any fun (unless
   they're wearing black leather while doing this, which makes
   them modern and liberated). That is, time spent eating blackberry 
   shortcake or chasing fireflies on the lawn is wasted! You're
   not helping others if you do this, and you deserve every pang
   of guilt you get! 

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