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A friend of mine who goes to Notre Dame sent this to me (which he wrote):

	Dear Nike, Reebok, Puma, Adidas, and other footware conglomerates,

	     As your average American, I spent a lot of time on the couch
	watching the Summer Olympics on television.  However, as
	consumers, we would appreciate it if you would stop molesting our
	integrity with your television advertisements which pander to
	the current physical fitness element.  We hope to stop this
	eagerness for constantly promoting your products showing people
	running, lifting weights, dunking basketballs, and other forms of
	testosterone on parade.  As if it wasn't bad enough your average
	pair of sneakers cost more than the Lincoln Town Car, you expect
	Americans to buy your product so they can get sweaty, suffer from
	incredible cramps, and feel out of shape.  It is our sincere
	belief that the merits of exercise are a myth promoted by the
	medical community to get back at the public for years of 
	threatening them with socialized medicine.
	    It is especially disappointing to see you pander to the
	physical fitness community when it would have been so easy to
	exploit the excitement generated during the Olympics.  With the
	proper mix of backyard barbecues, children playing with the
	family dog, and carpooling blue-collar workers (with thermos and
	hoagie in hand), your companies had a chance to make your brand
	of sneakers as American as motherhood, apple pie, and check
	kiting.  Instead, you chose to tell us to "just do it" because
	"life isn't a spectator sport."  Corporate America should be
	alerted to the fact that the general public has the same zeal for
	physical fitness as Bo Diddley, not Bo Jackson.  Are you trying to
	see if your stock can sink faster than the Titanic?  You can't 	
	expect to sell trendsetting footwear at incredibly marked-up
	retail prices when your commercials lead people to believe your
	board of directors is being held hostage by Army recruiters.
	     I hope you have come to grasp how diabolically insulting to 
	this something-for-nothing generation your advertisements really
	are.  Your hazardous association of exercise and a happy
	individual really angers me.  To put this travesty in perspective,
	your current advertisements upset me more than liberals in 
	Congress, people who tell me how to drive, and the sudden
	popularity of spandex.  Quite frankly, you deserve the recession
	we're in.

				Sincerely,

				Citizens for a Fitness-Free America

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