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Coming soon to a theater near you!

tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu (trygve lode)
(topical, chuckle, original)

      "Well, Barbara, that looks like the last bag.  I think we're ready--
Paris, here we come!  Think of it--it'll be our first trip overseas in twelve
years that we can just relax and enjoy ourselves on."
      "George, you're still President for another twenty-four hours--don't you
think we should stick around at least until then?"
      "Oh, don't worry about it--what could possibly happen to the country
in just one day?  Besides, we get a cheaper flight this way--and now that the
taxpayers aren't footing the bill any more, we need to start saving money."
 
<Segue to interior of 747, en route to Paris.>
 
      "See, Barbara, nothing went wrong--we even managed to get aboard the
plane on time."
      "George, somehow I can't get over the feeling we forgot something."
      "That's just your nerves, Dear; Marilyn's back in coach, I put Millie
in the pet carrier myself, we checked the stove twice before we left--what
could we possibly have forgotten?"
 
 
                    H O M E   A L O N E   I I I
 
                       Without a Clue in D.C.
 
 
 
<Scene:  interior of Dan Quayle's room>
 
Dan:        Yawn!  <stretches, rubs eyes>  That was a great nap!
            <Dan gets out of bed, sporting handsome striped pajamas
             and wanders out into the hallway.>
            Hey, where is everybody?  George?  Barbara?  Marilyn?
 
            <long, silent pause while no one answers>
 
            I made them all disappear.  I made them all disappear!!!
 
            <Quick series of shots of Dan (still pajama-clad) running joyfully
             up and down the empty halls of the White House, screaming at the
             top of his lungs, eventually running into the oval office and
             flopping down in the chair.>
 
            Hey, <still catching his breath> if George and everybody is gone,
            that means...I'm the President!  Well, in that case, I think I
            can use George's Presidential after-shave lotion.  Hmmmm...now
            where could he keep it?  <rummages around desk>  I wonder what
            this red button is?  Maybe if I press it, someone will bring me
            the Presidential after-shave....
 
 
                  Home Alone III, coming soon to a theater near you!

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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