| RHF Joke Archives |

As I'm sure you all remember, some buffoon recently cross-posted a bit of anti-Japanese ranting titled "DidYouKnow" to every single group on the whole freakin' net. I first stumbled across it in rec.arts.int-fiction, the newsgroup dedicated to interactive fiction. So I penned the following response:

>ASK BUZY ABOUT CROSS-POSTING
Buzzy looks up at the Newsgroups, and sees that you have trimmed all but
rec.games.int-fiction. "Aw, he says, what'd you do that for? I really
thought it was important that rec.bicycles.misc know about this."

>ASK BUZY ABOUT REC.GAMES.INT-FICTION
"Well, I figured that, pretty soon, those darn Oriental types would own
Activision, and then-- well, what would happen to good old fashioned
American craftsmanship?"

>SHOW LTOI TO BUZY
Buzy examines it. He shrugs. "So?"

>OPEN BOX. SHOW MANUAL TO BUZY.
Buzy begins to read. "Good God! This is a disaster! Such shoddy
workmanship!"

>I
You have: The New York Times, an American flag, a book of essays by
Kant, a bottle of some sort of blue liquid, and a box containing The
Lost Treasures of Infocom.

>READ TIMES
The front page headline says, "IBM sustains record losses." Everything
else is about sports.

>SHOW HEADLINE TO BUZY
Buzy gapes in disbelief. "IBM? Clearly they're failing because of unfair
competition."

>TELL BUZY ABOUT BIG BLUE
You outline in a few brief words how IBM allowed itself to become
unweildy and uncompetitive. Buzy is not impressed. "Yeah, yeah, it's the
fault of those durn Japs."

>READ KANT TO BUZY
You read Buzy a passage in which the philosphers outlines his concept of
individual responsibility, in which all men are responsible for their
own actions. Buzy is not impressed. "Yeah, yeah- Kant was a furriner,
wasn't he?"

>OPEN JAR
Opening the jar reveals a brain, suspended in the blue liquid.

>GIVE BRAIN TO BUZY
Buzy looks at the brain, unsure of what to do with it.

>OPEN BUZY'S HEAD.
WIth a few twists, you open his head. It must not have been sealed very
tightly.

>PUT BRAIN IN BUZY'S HEAD
You place the brain in Buzy's head. Suddenly, his eyes light up. "Good
gosh!" he exclaims. "We are all responsible for our own actions,
whether we are a CEO taking home millions of dollars a year while our
company grows bloated and inefficient, or an obnoxious Usenet user
cross-posting conspiracy theories to a thousand irrelevant newsgroups!
Now that I understand that, I'm going to devote my life to ridding my
countrymen of the xenophobia that prevents them from dealing squarely
with the real causes of our problems. But... But I'm thinking
independantly. Isn't that un-American?"

>GIVE FLAG TO BUZY
Buzy waves the flag in the air, and seems to feel much better. He dashes
off, singing "God Bless America."

**Your GNP has just gone up.**

| RHF Joke Archives |