Editor's Note: This Oracle question was forwarded to me by an Oraculite, and I provided an answer, but it was not sent in on time. He liked the answer so I'm reproducing it here. (I don't usually do my own stuff unless I get independent confirmation that somebody else likes it.) The Usenet Oracle has pondered your quesition deeply. Your question was: > Oh Great and Most Wise Oracle, whose process priorities are > infinite; whose gargantuan disk quota is exceeded only by your IQ; and > whose NET Purity Test Score is an irrational negative number, please > pause for a picosecond to answer this question which has been keeping > me from sleeping-and more importantly, worshipping thee: > > Where has Brad Templeton's sense of humor gone, and can we > replace it? Is this covered by the factory warranty? > > Your Lowly Supplicant And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } .....Thank-you Mr. Templeton! } } [interesting behind the scenes interview about net joke flow, } the origination of rec.humor, how to tell if a joke is funny } and a phone call down the street deleted for reasons of privacy] } } But here's what you're after: } } PLEASE READ THIS LIMITED USE NEWSGROUP LICENSE AGREEMENT FIRST } } This newsgroup is provided without warranty, either expressed or implied. } We make no warranties regarding its humour or fitness for any } purpose, including but not limited to laughter, chuckling, filling } spare network bandwidth, posting on walls, sexually harassing } co-workers, picking up members of the opposite sex, wrapping fish, } testing the "ping" program or inclusion in vice presidential campaign } commercials. The moderator licenses you the newsgroup but you assume } all responsibility for subscribing too and reading the newsgroup. } Disassembly, reverse engineering or otherwise explaining jokes in this } newsgroup is expressly prohibited. TeleJoke/RHF associates, in } association with ClariNet Communications and Looking Glass Software } Limited hereby waives all liability for any and all damages arising out } of the evolution of life on Earth or any other planet, or natural } causes. Not responsible for Act of God. (My dad wrote that, not me.) } } Note that some states prohibit oral sex between consenting adults and } have other silly laws so this exclusion of liability may not apply to } you. In the event of damages, TeleJoke/RHF's liability shall be } limited to payment of $1,000,000 from you to me. No free support is } provided. For support dial 1-900-328-7448. (Figure it out) } } READING OF ANY JOKES IN THIS NEWSGROUP CONSTITUTES ACCEPTANCE OF THESE } TERMS. iF YOU DO NOT ACCEPT THESE TERMS, PLEASE RETURN THE NEWSGROUP, } UNOPENED, TO THE SYSADMIN OF THE NODE WHERE YOU SUBSCRIBED. Refund? } Sure, I'll accept one. Jokes are not repeated; if you like the jokes, } "especially the early, funny ones," then order the books. Any } errors in printing are your fault. Carpe Diem ("Fish for ten cents.") } Vidi Vici Veni. Wear clean underwear. 90% of Sturgeon's law is crap. } The best things in life are disgusting. Familiarity breeds. It's not } my damn planet, monkey-boy.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)