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Marx

ray@biovision.utoronto.ca (Ray Deonandan)
(maybe)

So Karl Marx dies and shows up at the gates of heaven to be met by
Saint Peter.

"Name?" asks Peter.
"Marx, Karl Marx." replies the famous author.
"Hmm," says Peter to himself, "why do I know that name?"
"I am Marx," Marx said, beaming with pride, "founder of socialism
and the driving force behind the communist ideal called Marxism."
"I see," Peter said.  "I'll have to check with God."

So Peter rushes off to confer with God.  God hears the name Marx
and immediately a look of disgust infects His face.  "Marx?" God
says, "He's nothing but a trouble maker.  Send him down to hell."

So Peter happily signs the appropriate forms and deports Karl Marx
to Satan's firy hell.

Some time later, a free trade agreement is forged between Heaven and Hell.
The deal is hailed by all to be a great economic leap forward that would
revitalize both struggling economies.  But soon after the treaty,
God realizes that Heaven is no longer receiving any products
from Hell.  So he sends Saint Peter down to investigate.

"Well?" asks Peter of Satan, "What's the hold up?  We have an agreement!"

Satan shrugs his shoulders, exasperated.  "It's that Marx fellow," Satan
replied.  "Ever since he got down here, all we've had are strikes and
labour demands.  Productivity has dropped to zero!"

"So?" Peter asks, "What would you have us do?"

"Take him back.  Take Marx back to Heaven, and I guarantee productivity
will sky rocket!"

So Peter agreed, on God's behalf, to accept Karl Marx back to Heaven.

Some time later Satan realizes that Hell has not received any orders
for product from Heaven.  In fact, very little communication at all
has leaked from Up Above.  So, concerned for the economic welfare
of Hell, he makes a trip to Heaven.

"Peter!  Peter, are you there?" Satan demands.

"Yes, what is it?" Peter answers.

"What's the hold up?  What about the flow of trade?"

"Oh I'm sorry," Peter said, "We have decided to adopt a Marxist
isolationist stance.  We are an intrinsic self-governed body that is
now based on the needs of the prolitariate.  It is our opinion that
this free trade agreement only benefits the bourgeois."

"What?!" Satan was furious.  "I demand to speak to God!"

Peter's eyebrow is raised in confusion.  "Who?"

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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