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This one was told to me a while ago by my silly friend Randy Ikenouye. I've filed it away for more desperate days, but --guess what?-- desperate days are here. Forgive me, Randy... Two Newfies and a French Canadian (enough Newfie jokes, lets pick on the Quebecois for a while) wre driving through the Ontario countryside when their car broke down. Luckily, they were near a farmhouse. So they knocked on the door and asked the gruff old farmer if they could stay the night. The farmer agreed, but only on one bizarre condition. He told them to go out into his field, pick any fruit or vegetable they could find, then to return to the farmhouse. Some time later, the two Newfies found themselves dead and in line at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter was there, listening to their tale. "Okay," said Saint Peter, "You went out and found some fruits and vegetables. How did you die?" "Well," continued one of the Newfies, "My friend here returned first with a cherry. Then the farmer pointed his gun at him and commanded: 'stick that cherry up your ass, and if you laugh I'll shoot you!'" "And?" prompted Saint Peter. "He laughed, and the farmer shot him." "Why did you laugh?" Peter asked the 2nd Newfie. "It tickled," he said. "Then it was my turn," continued the first newfie. "I had also brought a cherry, and the farmer pointed his gun at me and told me the same thing. I laughed and he shot me." "Why did YOU laugh?" Saint Peter asked. "I saw the French Canadian coming up the walkway with a watermelon." -- "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." | ray@biovision.med.utoronto.ca -Sigmund Freud | Ray Deonandan (416)978-4339
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