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From: nomad@watson.ibm.com (Lee Damon)

You know you are bored when you type up
Basketball play-by-play while waiting for tapes
to spin.  This one was conceived in the car on
the way to work, and wrote itself that afternoon.
As far as I know, it is entirely original.

---
"Jesus saves"

"But Moses gets the rebound, he shoots... he scores!"

"That's right Dan, looks like the Testaments are
really trampling Jesus and his Gospels here at
the Garden tonight. Best crowd we've seen at the
Garden in quite a while, too. The Testaments have
an 18 point lead, and are gaining."

"Well Jack, the Testaments have done well for the
last 40 days. Last week they knocked the sneakers
off the Buddhists, and the week before that they
trampled the Kaaba. I wouldn't be surprised to
see them win the championships this year."

"Paul has the ball, he hands it off to Luke...
quick pass to Mark, to Jesus, back to Paul, lay
up... hook shot... good!"

"Paul has been doing well tonight, earning 18 of
the Gospels' 56 points. Having two cheering
sections of Corinthians is really working for
him. Jesus has the worst record he's had for a
long time, only 10 points all evening. Doesn't
look like he'll be changing that water into
GatorAde tonight."

"Samson hands off to Noah, back to Samson, back to
Noah..  wow, watch that foot work. Noah can sure
move his feet for someone 900 years old.  Back to
Samson, over to Mohammed, back to Noah, up the
court to Abraham, over his back hook ... bouncing
off the backstop... round the rim ....  in!"

"Wow, that Abraham really likes showing off his
knife shots. That one was a close call though, he
almost missed the backstop entirely."

"Ya Dan, he's been having problems with that
lately. Too flashy for many of the other player's
tastes. He seems to like making sacrifice plays."

"Mohammed out, Lot in."

"Luke hands to Paul, over to Matthew, to Mark,
back to Matthew, they are working the court
carefully... over to... oops, intercepted by
Noah! Watch that man dribble! Noah lines up,
shoots, a perfect swisher! Another 2 for Noah!"

"Now there's a man who doesn't do anything by
halves Jack, unlike his team mate, Solomon."

"True Dan, in fact, he seems to do everything by
twos."

"On the other hand, the Gospels only have 3
minutes to make up a 20 point deficit.  Do you
think they can do it?"

"I don't know Dan, though Jesus has been able to
pull some pretty amazing miracles, this one may
be beyond even Him."

"Abraham out, Sheba in."

"Paul to Jesus, over to Luke, back to Jesus, to
Paul... to Luke... to Matthew, to Paul... to
Mark... back to Jesus again for the lay up, hook
shot... looks like he hit the rim, into the
backstop, and back in for 2 points!"

"Dan, have you noticed how none of them are
taking advantage of the 3 point rule? The Gospels
are going to have to if they want to win this
game."

"Samson tosses it over to Moses again... to
Sheba...  she's been playing real well today,
lots of good interception in the first quarter...
Sheba hands it to Lot... Lot dribbling slowly,
letting time run out, only a few seconds left for
him to shoot.... balls up...  saved by Jesus,
Moses there to cover, gets the ball back before
Jesus can take advantage of it... Moses shoots,
its good!"

"Moses seems to always be there to catch those
rebounds."

"Yes Jack, the crowd just seems to part for him
where ever he goes."

"Oops, looks like one of the ref's has told Jesus
something he doesn't like, Jesus has just told him
to kiss off."

"The referees, Judas and Herod, want to confer
with the Gospels about this, so The Gospels have
taken a time out. We'll be right back after this
word from our Sponsors; Pope Soap on a Rope,
Bernie's Grill, Bar & Mitzvah and Cardinal
Cleaning."

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