It's the first session of the Ukranian parliament and Kravchuk is presiding. He's a little nervous because of all the Western press and he wants to make a good impression: He thinks: "Who shall I get to give the opening speech?" He looks across the room: "No, not Kalinev from the Nationalist Party. He'll say that we should hang all the Westerners." He looks to the other side: "Hm. I better not call on Korlenko from the Slavic Union Party. He'll say that we should drown all the Jews." He looks way in the back: "Ah. I'll call on Orlovsky from the Green Party." Orlovsky gets to the front of the room: "Fellow countrymen and representatives of the Western press, I'd like to talk to you today about the environmental crisis that is upon us. The years of Soviet control have left us with a devastated countryside. Our forests have been destroyed; our rivers are polluted. This is catastrophe for our new nation, for if our forests are destroyed, where shall we hang the Westerners? If our rivers are polluted, where shall we drown the Jews?..." (Origin: somewhere in the Commonwealth of Independent States. Told by Neil Carrick, my housemate recently returned.) -- robin institute for learned scientists northwestern university
(From the "Rest" of RHF)