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More cold calling

aahz@netcom.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine)
(chuckle)

I pass on the best of rec.humor funny to a friend of mine on Compu$erve.
This time, he had a good reply:

Relayed-From: John Hawklyn <76702.1571@CompuServe.COM>

Love it.  Here's my handling of sales calls - along the lines of do unto
others as they're doing to you.
 
Ring
Ring
 
Me: Hello, John speaking
 
Salesperson: Hello Mr. Hawklyn I represent ...... We've selected you as a
likely prospect (I mentally translate to: likely sucker) for
investment/charitable donation/lottery winner/....
 
Me: Not interested.  SAY!?  are you a telemarketer?  I happen to represent a
firm which manufactures and sells earpads for all types of telephones and head
sets.  We've found in our industry research that many telemarketers are
languishing with unergometric headsets.  Our earpads are certifiably
ergometric thorougly tested, and inexpensive, and 100% natural.
 
Salesperson:  Excuse me.  I was trying to say...
 
Me: Would you be interested in trying out one of our earpads?
 
Salesperson: No, thank you, we already have earpads. Now about our package..
 
Me: {sickenly sincere} If you're not interested, perhaps you could connect me
with your supervisor?  They may be interested in hearing about our earpads.
 
----------------------------------
I've never yet spoken to a supervisor, but I find that this technique is
humorous, and yet clearly points out to them how offensive these calls can
be.
 
Hawkmeister

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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