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A friend of a friend, who is an airline copilot, told the
following stories about a captain with whom he often flew.
This guy was an excellent pilot, but not real good at making
passengers feel at ease.

For example, one time the airplane in front of him blew a tire
on landing, scattering chunks of rubber all over the runway.
He was aked to hold while the trucks came out and cleaned up.
His announcement:

	Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid there will be a
	short delay before our arrival.  They've closed the
	airport while they clean up what's left of the last
	airplane that landed there.

Then there was the time they were flying through turbulence.
Some of the passengers became alarmed at how much the wings
were bending in the rough air and one of the flight attendants
relayed that message to the captain.  His announcement:

	Ladies and gentlemen, I've been informed that some
	of you have noticed our wings bending in the turbulence.
	In fact, the flight attendant told me that the wing
	tips are bending as much as ten feet in the bumps.
	Well, that's perfectly normal; there's nothing to
	worry about.  Our wings are designed to bend as much
	as thirteen feet at the tips and, as you can see,
	we're nowhere near that yet.


				--Andrew Koenig
				  ark@europa.att.com

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