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In attempt to REALLY grind a joke format into the dirt, here is
my list of the TOP TEN reasons that Bob Kerry dropped out of the
Democratic presidential race:

10.  Reporter was about to reveal that Kerry, earlier in life, had
     posted space shuttle jokes to the net.

 9.  Was devastated to learn that donation to Dr. Cecil Jacobson's
     fertility clinic was NOT tax deductible and had never even been
     used.

 8.  Got stuck in New Hampshire for 3 days after all the planes left.

 7.  Slowly realized that he didn't have to serve in Vietnam to be
     elected president.

 6.  Needed time to think up some more witty gay/lesbian jokes.

 5.  Learned that the Kennebunkport retreat is George Bush's personal
     property.

 4.  Taking time out to legally change his name to Tkerry (The 'T'
     is silent, of course).

 3.  Got caught calling Jerry Brown's 800 number and asking for
     Linda Ronstat.

 2.  Suddenly discovered that Debra Winger had bared it all in
     An Officer and a Gentleman.

 1.  Tired of "stumping" the campaign trail.


Jeff Sauder    sauder@aplcen.apl.jhu.edu

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