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This little ditty was given to me by an old girlfriend when I was in
college. I have no idea where it came from, or who originally wrote it.

One hint:  This makes a whole lot more sense if you drink heavily before
reading it.

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			      Brain Damage Quiz

Following is a quiz. Please answer all questions honestly, and to the best
of your ability, or your answers may not be honest, or to the best of your
ability. 

1.	t/f	People tell me one thing one day and out the other.

2.	t/f	I can't unclasp my hands.

3.	t/f	I can wear my shirts as pants.

4.	t/f	I feel as much like I did yesterday as I do today.

5.	t/f 	At parties, I like to sit by myself and collect a great deal
		of saliva.

6.	t/f	I often mistake my hands for food.

7.	t/f	I'd rather eat soap than little stones.

8.	t/f	I never liked room temperature.

9.	t/f	I line my pockets with hot cheese.

10.	t/f	My throat is closer than it seems.

11.	t/f	I am annoyed by the taste of my teeth.

12.	t/f	Sometimes I feel compelled to count the freckles on my arms
		over and over until I lose control of my bladder.

13.	t/f	Most things are better eaten than forgotten.

14.	t/f	Likes and dislikes are among my favorites.

15.	t/f	My patio is covered with killer frost.

16.	t/f	I've lost all sensation in my shirt.

17.	t/f	I try to swallow at least three times a day.

18.	t/f	My best friend is a social worker.

19.	t/f	I've always known when to close my eyes.

20.	t/f	My squirrels don't know where I am tonight.

21.	t/f	Little can be said for Luxembourg.

22.	t/f	No napkin is sanitary enough for me.

23.	t/f	I walk this way because I have to.

24.	t/f	Walls impede my progress.

25.	t/f	I can't find my marmots.

26.	t/f	I like mechanics magazines, but I would rather fondle a
		marine.

27.	t/f	My uncle is as stupid as paste.

28.	t/f	I can pet animals by the mouthful.

29.	t/f	My toes are numbered.

30.	t/f	Man's reach should exceed his overbite.

31.	t/f	People tell me I'm deaf.

32.	t/f	My beaver won't go near the water.

33.	t/f	I can find my ears, but I have to look for them.

34.	t/f	I don't like any of my loved ones.

35.	t/f	Sometimes I have the strange feeling that I've done something
		before.

36.	t/f	Sometimes I have the strange feeling that I've done something
		before.

37.	t/f	A good friend should stick to the ceiling when the going
		gets rough.

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