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This was sent to me by a friend in Toronto:


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OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT BURERAUCRACY COOKIES
A Bureaucrat's Guide To Chocolate Chip Cookies

For those government employees and bureaucrats who have problems with
standard recipes, here's one that should make the grade -- a classic
version of the chocolate chip cookie translated for easy reading:

Total lead time: 35 minutes.

Inputs:
    1 cup packed brown sugar
    1/2 cup granulated sugar
    1/2 cup softened butter
    1/2 cup shortening
    2 eggs
    1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
    2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
    1 teaspoon baking soda
    1/2 teaspoon salt
    12-ounce package semi-sweet chocolate pieces
    1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

Guidance:
After procurement actions, decontainerise inputs.  Perform measurement tasks
on a case-by-case basis, in a mixing type bowl, impact heavily on brown
sugar, granulated sugar, softened butter and shortening.  Co-ordinate the
interface of eggs and vanilla, avoiding an overrun scenario to the best of
your skills and abilities.

At this point in time, leverage flour, baking soda, and salt into a bowl and
aggregate.  Equalise with prior mixture and develop intense and continuous
liaison among inputs until well-coordinated.  Associate key chocolate and
nut subsystems and execute stirring operations.

Within this time frame, take action to prepare the heating environment for
throughput by manually setting the oven baking unit by hand to a temperature
of 375 degrees farenheit (190 degrees celsius).  Drop mixture in an ongoing
fashion from a teaspoon implement onto an ungreased cookie sheet at intervals
sufficient enough apart to permit total and permanent separation of
throughputs to the maximum extent practicable under operating conditions.

Position cookie sheet in a bake situation and surveil for 8 to 10 minutes or
until cooking action terminates.  Initiate coordination of outputs within the
cooling rack function.  Containerise, wrap in red tape, and disseminate to
authorised staff personnel on a timely and expeditious basis.

Output: Six dozen official government chocolate-chip cookie units.

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