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New contributions to this list would be appreciated.
Boerge Haga, Department of Informatics, University of Oslo
Kjeller , Norway
A I R L I N E J O K E S
===============================================================================
AA (American Airlines) - Always Awful
AI (Air India) - Allah Informed
ALITALIA - Always Late In Takeoff Always Late In Arrival
- Air Line In Tokyo And Luggage In Amsterdam
BOAC (British Overseas Airways Corp.) - Better On A Camel
- Bloody Old and Careless
CA (China Airlines) - Choose Another
CAAC (Chinese Avation Airl.Comp.) - Chinese Airline Always Canceled
(Civil Aviation Authority of China ?) - China Airlines Almost (Always) Crashes
CPA (Canadian Airl.Intl.) - Can't Promise Anything
(New code CAI) - Crash And Ignite
- Call Ambulance Immediately
- Circle Airport Indefinitely
- Cruise Above Iceland
- Cancel Alaskan Itinerary
- Call Attendants "Idiots"
- Check All Items
- Copilots Are Imbeciles
- Casual Atmosphere Inside
DELTA - Don't Even Leave The Airport
- Don't Ever Leave The Airport
- Don't Even Let Them Aboard (referring to the arabs ?)
- Departing Even Later Than Anticipated
EAL (Eastern) - Eastern's Always Late
ELAL - Every Landing Always Late
JAT (Yugoslav Airlines)- Joke About Time
LOT (Polish Airlines) - Last One There
- Luggage On Tarmack (wave 'bye!)
LUFTHANSA - Let Us Fuck The Horses, Are No Stewardesses Available
PA (Philippine Airways)- Please Avoid
PAL (Phil. Airlines) - Philippines Always Late
PAN AM - Plan On Arriving Nervewracked And Mad
PIA (Pakistan Intl.Airl) - Please Inform Allah
- Panic In Air
- Perhaps I Arrive
QANTAS - Queer And Nasty Types As Stewards
SABENA (Belgium) - Such A Bloody Experience, Never Again
- Such A Bad Experience, Never Again
SAHSA (Servicio Aero Honduras SA) - Stay At Home, Stay Alive
SAS (Scandinavian Airl. System) - Sweet And Sexy
- Sex And Service
SIA (Singapore Intl.Airl.) - So Incredible, Aah
TACA - Take A Chance Airline
TAP (Portuguese Airl.) - Take Another Plane
TWA (Transworld Airl.) - Travel Without Arrival
- Try Walking, Asshole
- Try Walking Again
- The Worst Airline
- Took Wrong Airline
- Try Walking Across (transatlantic perspective)
- Travel With Arabs
- Terrorist Welcome Aboard
- Terrorists With Arms
- Teenie Weenie Airlines
- Traveling Without Air
- Tiny Wings Aflappin'!!!!!
USAir - Unfortunately, Still Alleghany In Reality
SOUNDALIKES:
============
Aer Lingus Aer Fungus,
Aeroperu Aeroperhaps
Air Afrique Air Freak(out)
Air Canada Err Canada (as in "To err is human...")
Air France Air Chance
Air Wisconsin Scare Wisconsin
Alleghany Air Agony Air (USAir since many years)
British Airways Brutish Airways
Brutish Scareways
Cascade Airways Crashcade Scareways
Continental Contemptible
Lufthansa Lusthansa
Midwest Express Midwest Excess (True, but worth it)
Mohawk Slowhawk
Northwest Northworst
Northwaste
People Express CattleCar Express
People Distress
People Compress
Piedmont Piedmonster (merged with USAir)
QuebecAir Quick Air
TWA TightWad Airlines
United Untied
US Air Useless Air
US Scare
YouSAir
USAirheads
OTHERS:
=======
Delta "We love to fly and it's close"
"We love to show our flies"
Eastern Who?
Mexicana Where being Late is Fashionable
THANKS TO:
==========
Tom Davis tmd@austin.lockheed.com
Merrick Burkhardt
sks7@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu (Steven K Smith)
njs@scifi.uucp (Nicholas J. Simicich)
Noah Cole cncole@u2.dartmouth.edu
Israel Nelken <israel@cs.toronto.edu>
fsbern8@venus.lerc.nasa.gov (Ambady Suresh (Sverdrup))
Ajay.Modi@cs.cmu.edu
eric@advansoft.COM (Eric Rindner)
FSBERN8@VENUS.LERC.NASA.GOV
woody@udcf.glasgow.ac.uk (Ian Woodrow)
trogers@yosemite.Eng.Sun.COM (Tom Rogers - Database Engineering)
ping@ISI.EDU (Ping Luo)
Frank C. Paterra <paterra@xanth.cs.odu.edu>
ssid@qsun.att.com (Sameer Siddiqui)
Ian <chai@hawk.cs.ukans.edu>
dxp%hector@bellcore.bellcore.com
Howard Lem <howard@utcs.utoronto.ca>
8614903@ul.ie (Desmond P. O'Donoghue)
cjc@rruxu.UUCP (Catherine J Curtis)
launce@pluto.med.utah.edu (Launce Gouw)
lzs@indetech.com (Lynn Z. Schneider x2077)
jordan@tcs.com (Jordan Hayes)
ethan miller--cs grad student elm@cs.berkeley.edu
owen blevins <blevinso@copper.ucs.indiana.edu>
Adrian W. Martin <martin@tasman.cc.utas.edu.au>
Derek Elsworth 863-1643 <FKD@PSUVM.PSU.EDU>
Mike Godfrey migod@csri.toronto.edu
David Brooks dbrooks@osf.org
microsoft!estim@uunet.uu.net
ms17@prism.gatech.edu (Martha Ann Stegar)
gford%nunki.usc.edu@usc.edu (Gregory Ford)
george@Seri.GOV (George Scott)
djs4944@zeus.tamu.edu (Dave)
Lisa Wolfisch <lingling@wam.umd.edu>
mccurley@cs.sandia.gov (Kevin S. McCurley)
Andrew Philpot <philpot@kepler.arc.nasa.gov>
ktibv!rdb@nluug.nl (Rob den Braasem)
CC70@SDSUMUS (Denise Bauer)
UMAXWE@UNC (June Maxwell)
Annemarie Kreyenberg <annie@madeira.stanford.edu>
SRDJAN%CATHY@YUBGEF51 (Srdjan Cvjetovic)
JN0@psuvm.psu.edu (Joyce Neu)
V2153A@TEMPLEVM (Eleanor Cicinsky)
WHITE@URVAX (Tom White)
C535447@UMCVMB (Kirk Arnold Missouri University)
healy@spca.bbn.com
johnL@radius.com (John Lee)
(and all others that I have forgot, please inform me)
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
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