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No doubt you're getting a lot of this sort of thing, but here's my entry anyway. It's original, of course.

Saddam Hussein's Top Ten Worries About Desert Storm

10. Boxcar Willie album collection hard to carry from bunker to bunker

9. During a night raid, he might mistake jock strap for gas mask (again)

8. Cutting off CNN may mean loss of MTV

7. Possible disqualification from the Mr. Olympia pageant

6. His private Bryl-creem factory might be mistaken for a weapons plant

5. He'll run out of pre-rumpled fatigues

4. He could win Lotto, and not find out the numbers

3. He might finally get Late Night tickets, for this week

2. People keep calling his weapons names like "scud"

1. Breakdown of infrastructure may mean warm beer and stale chips for the Super Bowl

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