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For those sentences that don't quite make cents or dollars, read
it aloud.



From the Boston College Chemical Bulletin from at least 15 years ago.


   Inspector Sherlock Ohms of Standard International Yard was driving
across the Wheatstone Bridge in his '09 Maxwell, trying to remember
Ava Gadro's number, so he could call her and data for the Policeman's
Ball, when suddenly he blew a tire.

   "Oh Nernst!" said Sherlock, "I don't have a tire ion with me, but
luckily, ammonia short distance from the Ideal Gas Station, run by my
friend Sol Vent, who at the moment is freon bail."

   Just as Inspector Ohms emerged from the Ideal Gas Station, his tire
all fixed, a rubber policeman whizzed by him with his Carnot Cycle
going at full speed.  Ohms knew he was deuteride by, but he wondered
watt made him rush so.  He shouted atom, but he was gone,  His
reaction was instantaneous as he whipped out after him.  By radio
activity, he learned that Mike Rofarad, Recipro City's top-rankine
rookie, was chasing a suspected joule thief.  Ohms chased him down
Elect Road, around the Dextro Rotary, back over Salt Bridge and up
into Farren Heights.  He turned left at the Old Ball Mill, down past
the Mono-clinic, the Palladium, where there was a mathematical
convention, and all the way to the liquid junction at the Endothermic
Street.  They were almost across the city line when Sherlock's car
swerved, and crashed into a van der Waal.  The Raman effect ruined his
differential, so he couldn't go beyond the limits in it.  He quickly
volted out of the wreck, and took up the chase on foot.  He soon came
across Mike, standing in a magnetic field, holding Ann Hydrate and Al
Doll at bay.

   "Watts the meaning of this?" queried the inspector, and the Copper
was quick to explain:

   "Well, Sir, I stopped in at the Invar Bar, a local dyne and dance
spot, for a couple of quartz of Lambert Beer when I noticed Ann
Hydrate sitting alone at a two-place log table.  I knew some joule
thieves had made a radon Ethyl Benzene's country estate, and I spotted
one of the Benzene rings on her along with a para Ethyl's earrings. 
Anode an explanation of this but before I could torque to her, she was
into her coat of rust and out the door.  True to the Kopp's Rule, I
was quick to follow when I saw her get into her Mercury chrome 8.  I
knew I was infra tough chase.  However, her engine started Fehling
just beyond the city limits and I caught her.  She had lead me to the
missing joules and her accomplice, Al Doll, who was about to barium in
a hollow, common log under the square roots in this deserted magnetic
field."

   "Son, you'll go on nights for this!" beamed Ohms.  This, in effect,
was a promotion, for in Recipro City, nitrates are much Mohr than
those Faraday men.


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Robert Turner (602) 897-5441 Semiconductor Systems Design Technology, Motorola

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