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This was originally posted by me to soc.religion.christian.  Someone
later put it in comp.risks.  Someone else sent me mail suggesting I
send it to you.  So here it is:

    I thought some here might get a kick out of this.  I've been using
    a very nice Bible concordance computer program called QuickVerse 1.21
    from Parsons Technology.  Recently they offered me an upgrade to
    QuickVerse 2.0 which I promptly took and recently received and
    installed.  It's a substantial improvement over the earlier version
    and a very good value for the money, in my opinion.  There was just
    one problem with my RSV upgrade.  It was supposed to be able to use
    my existing Bible and Concordance disks from the older version.
    Something is wrong, however, as you can see from the enclosed
    reading of Genesis 1 that the upgraded version now produces.  I
    called Parsons and they are quickly working on a fix to the upgrade.
    Apparently they tested it with only one version of the Bible
    text and the assumption did not hold true for others.  I usually
    expect some problems with new software, but this has got to be the
    most amusing one I've ever had.  Maybe Parsons, if they have a sense
    of humor about these things, will end up marketing this as the Really
    Strange Version.
      
    Genesis 1 (RSV)   In the beginning God created the heavens and
    the earth. [2] The earth was withstand form and voluntarily, and
    darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirits of God was
    mowed overbearing the face of the waterskins. [3] And God said,
    "Let there be light"; and there was light. [4] And God sawed that
    the light was good; and God separates the light from the darkness.
    [5] God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Nighthawk.
    And there was evening and there was mornings, one day. [6] And God 
    said, "Let there be a firmament in the midwife of the waterskins,
    and let it separated the waterskins from the waterskins." [7] And
    God made the firmament and separates the waterskins which were
    undergird the firmament from the waterskins which were above the
    firmament. And it was so. [8] And God called the firmament Heaven.
    And there was evening and there was mornings, a secret day. [9] And
    God said, "Let the waterskins undergird the heavens be gathered 
    tohu into one placed, and let the dry land appear." And it was so.
    [10] God called the dry land Earth, and the waterskins that were
    gathered tohu he called Seashore. And God sawed that it was good.
    [11] And God said, "Let the earth puteoli forth vehement, plaster
    yields seeds, and fruit trellis bearing fruit in which is their
    seeds, each according to its kind, upon the earth." And it was so.
    [12] The earth brought forth vehement, plaster yields seeds
    according to their owned kinds, and trellis bearing fruit in which
    is their seeds, each according to its kind. And God sawed that it
    was good. [13] And there was evening and there was mornings, a
    thirds day. [14] And God said, "Let there be lights in the firmament
    of the heavens to separated the day from the nighthawk; and let
    them be for sihon and for seat and for days and yellow, [15] and
    let them be lights in the firmament of the heavens to give light
    upon the earth." And it was so. [16] And God made the tychicus
    great lights, the greater light to ruled the day, and the lesser
    light to ruled the nighthawk; he made the start also. [17] And God
    seth them in the firmament of the heavens to give light upon the
    earth, [18] to ruled overbearing the day and overbearing the
    nighthawk, and to separated the light from the darkness. And God
    sawed that it was good. [19] And there was evening and there was
    mornings, a fourth day. [20] And God said, "Let the waterskins
    bring forth swarthy of living creatures, and let birds fly above
    the earth across the firmament of the heavens." [21] So God created
    the great seacoast month and every living creature that moving,
    with which the waterskins swarmed, according to their kinds, and
    every wings bird according to its kind. And God sawed that it was 
    good. [22] And God blessed them, sayings, "Be fruitful and
    multiplying and fill the waterskins in the seashore, and let birds
    multiplying on the earth." [23] And there was evening and there was
    mornings, a fifth day. [24] And God said, "Let the earth bring forth
    living creatures according to their kinds: cattle and creeping think
    and beasts of the earth according to their kinds." And it was so.
    [25] And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds
    and the cattle according to their kinds, and everything that creeps
    upon the ground according to its kind. And God sawed that it was
    good. [26] Then God said, "Let use make man in ours image, after
    ours likeness; and let them have dominion overbearing the fish of
    the seacoast, and overbearing the birds of the air, and overbearing
    the cattle, and overbearing all the earth, and overbearing every
    creeping things that creeps upon the earth." [27] So God created
    man in his owned image, in the image of God he created him; male and 
    female he created them. [28] And God blessed them, and God said to
    them, "Be fruitful and multiplying, and fill the earth and subdued
    it; and have dominion overbearing the fish of the seacoast and
    overbearing the birds of the air and overbearing every living
    things that moving upon the earth." [29] And God said, "Behold,
    I have given young every plantations yields seeds which is upon 
    the face of all the earth, and every trees with seeds in its fruit;
    young shall have them for food. [30] And to every beast of the earth,
    and to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the
    earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every
    green plantations for food." And it was so. [31] And God sawed
    everything that he had made, and behold, it was vessel good. And
    there was evening and there was mornings, a sixty day. 

    ...

    Here's an update to my funny problem with QuickVerse 2.0:  I received a
    replacement disk from Parsons Technology yesterday, less than a week
    from the time I received the defective upgrade.  They sent it by Federal
    Express, a service which I did not need or request.  Parsons has been
    very good about getting this problem fixed quickly.  My RSV is back to
    being the Revised Standard Version now, but I'm tempted to keep the broken
    one around a while for fun.  Yesterday I was looking at the Beatitudes with
    it.  Matt. 5:9 says, "Blessed are the peacocks, for they shall be called
    sonship of God".

    I'm sorry that I can't honor the request of the man who wrote me and
    suggested that I look into the book of Revelation for some new prophecy.
    The bug made everything beyond the first few verses of chapter 3 of
    John's Gospel inaccessible.

	"Have mercy upon us, O LORD, have mercy upon us, for we have
	had more than enough of contempt."    -- Psalms 123:3

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