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An On-Line Interview with a PSUVMer

sobleski@shire.cs.psu.edu (Mark Sobolewski)
(computer, usenet, original, chuckle)

PSUVM has been getting a bad rap lately because people don't understand it. In an effort to enlighten the masses, I conducted this interview to correct any prejudices people may have.

Mark> So let's get this interview started! How did you come to learn VM?

VMer> HEY! THIS IS FUN! I REALLY LIKE INTERVIEWS. I HAVEN'T HAD THIS MUCH FUN SINCE I LEARNED HOW TO USE COBOL! OH... ANYWAY, I FIRST CAME IN CONTACT WITH THIS GREAT OPERATING SYSTEM WHEN I TOOK CMPSCI 201, BACK THEN...

Mark> Excuse me! Could you turn all caps off? Most people prefer to read mixed case.

VMer> OH SURE! HOW DO I DO THAT? WHICH PFKEY?

Mark> Here, I'll do it. (I hit the caps-lock key and tear it off)

VMer> Oh! Ok! If this is better for you.

Mark> Yeah, much better. So, I'm curious, what makes VM better than other systems?

VMer> Well, it would have to be its speed! Yeah, everything takes just a couple of seconds to run...

Mark> But doesn't Cray and MIPS make systems faster than a 3090?

VMer> Well, er, yeah. But they can't run as many users as VM can!

Mark> Wait a minute, why not just link a couple of Crays or Mips up together and accomplish the same thing, it might be cheaper...

VMer> Well, I guess you can do that. But they still won't ALL be on the same system!

Mark> Well, we can sort of make it one system if you know what I mean. We could just have a single system name for people to log into that would handle incoming users and delegate them to the least overloaded processor. That's what VM does anyway.

VMer> You don't understand VM, buster! It's not providing service for all those people that's important! It's squeezing them all onto the fewest number of processors you can! That's all that matters!

Mark> Ok. I think I understand now. So what are you up to?

VMer> I'm using Xedit to make a super review of phone systems... I'm going to put it in psu.students.

Mark> That's great! What's your method of review?

VMer> How many phones can you hook into a single line before it burns out. That's the most important criterion, you know. Also, a PFkey for every person you want to call. At least 50 on every home phone. 50,000 of them on every pay phone. Using personal phone numbers is such a pain!

Mark> I'm sure it is! Thank you.

VMer> (Jamming the Caps-Lock back into place.) YOU'RE WELCOME! COME BACK WHEN YOU WANT TO USE A REAL, MODERN SYSTEM!


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