| RHF Joke Archives |

Excerpted from:

Rectal foreign bodies: Case reports and a comprehensive review of the world's literature

D.B. Busch, Ph.D., M.D., and J.R. Starling, M.D.

in the journal Surgery, 1986.

Abstract

The surgical management of two patients presenting with incarcerated, apparently self-inserted foreign bodies is reported. The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed, with a tabluation of 182 previous cases by type and number of objects recovered and with a discussion of patients' age distribution, history, complications, and prognosis. Management problems addressed include history, differential diagnosis of reported pruitis ani, and handling of suspected assault.

Case 1.

A 39-year-old married white male lawyer presented with a self-inserted perfume bottle in his rectum that he was unable to remove using various objects, including a back scratcher. He had inserted this bottle on previous occasions. Edema of the rectum and sigmoid colon precluded the successful manual removal of the object in the emergency room. ... The 3 by 17 cm object, "Impulse Body Spray," was removed manually after a spinal anesthetic.

Table I. Previously reported recovered foreign bodies

Glass or ceramic 
  Bottle or jar			31 
  Bottle with attached rope	1	 
  Glass or cup			12 
  Light bulb			7 
  Tube				6 
  Total				57 

Food			 
  Apple				1 
  Banana			2 
  Carrot			4 
  Cucumber			3 
  Onion				2 
  Parsnip			1 
  Plantain (with condom)	1 
  Potato			1 
  Salami			1 
  Turnip			1 
  Zucchini			2 
  Total				19 

Wooden 
  Ax handle			1 
  Stick or broom handle		10 
  Miscellaneous or unspecified	3	 
  Total				14 

Sexual device			 
  Vibrator			23 
  Dildo				15 
  Total				38 

Kitchen device			 
  Dull knife*			1 
  Ice pick			1 
  Knife sharpener		1 
  Mortar pestle			2 
  Spatula (plastic)		1 
  Spoon				1 
  Tin cup			1 
  Total				8 

Miscellaneous tools			 
  Candle			1 
  Flashlight			2 
  Iron rod			1 
  Pen				2 
  Rubber tube			1 
  Screwdriver			1 
  Toothbrush			1 
  Wire spring			1 
  Total				10 

Inflated device			 
  Balloon			1 
  Balloon attached to cylinder	1	 
  Condom			1 
  Total				3 

Ball			 
  Baseball			2 
  Tennis ball			1 
  Total				3 

Miscellaneous containers			 
  Baby powder can		1 
  Candle box			1 
  Snuff box			1 
  Total				3 

Miscellaneous			 
  Bottle cap**			1 
  Cattle horn			3 
  Frozen pig's tail		1 
  "Kangaroo tumor"***		1 
  Plastic rod			1 
  Stone				2 
  Toothbrush holder		1 
  Toothbrush package		1 
  Whip handle			2 
  Total				13 

Grand total			168 cases 

Collections (one case of each)			 
2 Glass tubes			 
72 1/2 Jeweler's saw****			 
Oil can with potato stopper			 
Piece of wood, peanut**			 
Umbrella handle and enema tubing			 
2 Glasses			 
Phosphorous matchends (homicide)			 
402 Stones			 
Toolbox*****			 
2 Bars soap			 
Beer glass and preserving pot			 
Lemon and cold cream jar			 
2 Apples			 
Spectacles, suitcase key, tobacco pouch, and magazine			 
Total 14 collection, with approximately 500 objects			 

*     Patient complained of "knife-like pain" 
**    Cannot exclude ingestion 
***   Unique case of pedunculated perianal skin tumor habitually 
      inserted into rectum 
****  Multiple episodes of perirectal self-insertion 
***** Inside a convict; contained saws and other items usable in 
      escape attempts 

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