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I got this from my father-in-law, who got it from a friend, who got it...

A man wakes up after 2 weeks in coma. The specialist is at his bed: "It's going to be all right. But, the firemen who saved you from the wreckage sawed off half of your penis during the rescue. They have decided to give you $25,000 compensation for it. As you know, medical science has come forward quite a bit the last couple of years. We can re-create your penis, at a price of $2,500 per inch. But, we want you to discuss this with your wife, since having a non-standard penis length can give your relationship quite some stress." The man agrees to discussing with his wife, and the doctor makes an appointment to speak with him again in 2 days.

After two days, the man comes back to the hospital and sees the doctor. "We've discussed it at length." "And?" "We're buying a new kitchen."

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