This is by Soviet and Russian writer and performer Semen Altov.
A definition of age:
Young age: When you smoke, drink, and do heck knows what all night through, and on the next morning still look like you haven't been doing any of that.
Middle age: When you smoke, drink, and do heck knows what all night through, and on the next morning look like you have been smoking, drinking and doing heck knows what all night through.
Old age: When at night you neither smoke nor drink, nor do heck knows what, but on the next morning nevertheless look like you have been smoking, drinking and doing heck knows what all night through.