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Here are some more of the election quickies I've received. These are jokes which are funny, but which didn't really warrant posting separately. I post such a digest whenever I have enough entries to warrant it. Particularly selective readers will probably not enjoy the digests, and may want to killfile RHF jokes with "Digest" in the title - ed.

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>Reply-To: "Gondring" <gondring@usa.net>
>Subject: Gore's Election Locked Up

"WASHINGTON-- Presidential candidate Al Gore announced today that he has
found several thousand uncounted Democrat ballots that were overlooked in
his Social Security Lock-Box..."

= = = = = = =
>From: tnaran@direct.ca (Travers Naran)
>Subject: Who did I vote for?

[From salon.com article
http://www.salon.com/politics/feature/2000/11/07/results/index.html]

Palm Beach's ballots has created a storm of controversy because of its
apparently confusing layout. Some Gore supporters have complained they
accidentally voted for Pat Buchanan because of it, and there maybe some
truth to it because over 3000 people voted for Pat Buchanan (apparently one
of his best showings). Palm Beach County Commissioner Bert Aaronson
probably summed it up best:

"I don't think we have 3,000 Nazis in Palm Beach County."

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>From: oldbear@arctos.com (The Old Bear)
>Subject: Nader's Revenge

Of course, at this point I am so angry at Nader that tomorrow I am
going out and buying an unsafe car.

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>Reply-To: "Gondring" <gondring@usa.net>
>Subject: Why did Michigan vote for Gore?

When asked why the United Auto Workers would endorse a candidate who has
advocated the elimination of automobiles, UAW president Jimmy "Red" Kickbach
replied, "Hey, Gore has lied about everything else...why should we believe
him on that?"

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>From: jdavid@farfalle.com (David Ruggiero)
>Subject: Election description

A neighbor who works for a big-city newspaper says the wags in the
newsroom have taken to referring to the entire current American
political situation as "electile dysfunction."

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>From: paul@paulcuni.com (Paul Cuni)
>Subject: florida knock knock

A: Knock Knock

Q: Who's There?

A: Punch.

Q: Punch Who?

A: You must be from Florida.

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>From: bwo@compuserve.com (bwo)
>Subject: for the digest

I imagine at this point, Al Gore rues the
day he invented the Electoral College.

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>From: telecon@dent.arthurdent.com (telecon)
>Organization: The ACRONYM Group
>Subject: Election.

"The people have spoken. Tragically, in Florida, it was with the voice of
senility"

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>From: charles.egert@wanadoo.fr (Charles Egert)
>Subject: UFO sighting

A Martian lands on the East coast at about 9 o'clock election night and
says to a female passerby "Take me to your leader." "You don't mean Gore,
do you ?" the female passerby asks.

Then the Martian gets back in the flying saucer and flies to St Louis
where asks a male passerby to take the Martian to his leader. "It's Bush,"
replies the passerby.

But the Martian again gets back into the spaceship and this time flies
to Los Angeles. There he asks the first passerby he meets to take him
to their leader and the passerby says, "You must mean Ted Turner."

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>From: datta@math.berkeley.edu (Ruchira Datta)
>Subject: What's In It For Katherine Harris?

What post will Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris receive
if she succeeds in delivering Florida to George W. Bush?

Ambassador to Chad.

[Heard on KGO AM's November 14th episode of the Bernie Ward program
(attributed to his producer)]

= = = = = = =
>From: nweaver@EECS.Berkeley.EDU (Nicholas C. Weaver)
>Subject: The Pressing Chad question:

With all the talk about dimpled Chad and hanging Chad and
pregnant Chad, what about the important question: How much poking
does it take to make a dimpled Chad pregnant?

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>From: ae556@freenet.carleton.ca (Christian Sauve)
>Subject: But was he naughty or nice?

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I'd like to have a President...

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>From: oakes@wcta.net (Charles, Peggy & Jenny Oakes)
>Subject: Fw: What REALLY Happened in Florida

From: "Qrm2000" <qrm2000@aol.com>
Newsgroups: alt.radio.family
Sent: Wednesday, November 08, 2000 12:55 PM
Subject: OT: What REALLY Happened in Florida

They decided to use Senior Citizens to count ballots. Seniors have plenty of
time, and they work cheap. Unfortunately, they keep dozing off and losing
their place. And every few minutes, one of them yells, "Bingo!"

We may NEVER learn the outcome........ :)

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>From: crick@nortelnetworks.com (Bill Crick)
>Subject: Comment on US Education System

A very recent study found that 100% of US Grade 10 students polled could not
name the new President of the United States.

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>From: j-hutto@ti.com (Hutto, J.R.)
>Subject: If a protester in Fla. falls on the steps of the government office...

I was reading one of the updates about the recount in Florida when I came
across the following paragraphs:

In Tallahassee, about 200 to 300 people, most of them students, staged a
silent sit-down protest in the seat of the state government over what they
called voting irregularities.

``It's a silent protest to represent the voters not heard across the state of
Florida,'' said Brad Francis, an 18-year-old Florida A&M University student.

``We will stay until we are heard.''

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20001109/ts/election_florida_dc_3.html

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