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THINGS I HAVE LEARNED WATCHING SOAPS

Everybody has a child that they gave up for adoption, or don't know they have that appears one day out of the blue as an adult.

90% of the children are not with their biological parent or parents.

If you do have kids, they either die or get some horrible disease that is "cured."

Don't bother getting married, its only going to last a year anyway.

"I want to be with you the rest of our lives," means only for the next year.

"That was a long time ago," usually means last week.

Don't get into cars.

If you do, what ever you do, don't take that seat belt off even for a second, since that is when the car crashes.

If you do, don't get into arguments. The car crashes.

If you do, don't drive during storms. The car crashes.

If you do, don't be pregnant. The car crashes.

If you do, don't go near cliffs. The car falls off.

If you do, don't drink. The car crashes.

Don't ever believe that anybody is dead, even if you saw the body.

The wrong person is ALWAYS charged with the crime. They are always going to go to jail for the rest of their lives. When they finally find the right person, they always get off somehow.

DO NOT GO TO THAT PARTY.

The new person in town is almost always nasty and is out to destroy people.

Serious conversations are always conducted in public where they can be interrupted, overheard and above all, misconstrued.

Getting the hots for someone means you are now in love (for the umpteenth time) and want to spend the rest of your live with them for the next year.

[This is an original submission by Sara Beth Shepard (tarotwtc@bigfoot.com)]

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