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Microsoft One-liner Digest

funny-request@netfunny.com (Funny Guy)
(smirk, swearing, sexual, heard it, offense=almost everyone)

Since folks seem inclined to rag on Microsoft, I compiled a quick digest. These are jokes which are funny, but which didn't really warrant posting separately. I post such a digest whenever I have enough entries to warrant it. Particularly selective readers will probably not enjoy the digests, and may want to killfile RHF jokes with "Digest" in the title - ed.


= = = = = = =
>From: basar@motive.com (George Basar)
>Subject: RHF Submission: If a tree falls in the forest...

Today in USA Today, experts were quoted as saying that the breakup of
Microsoft would result in shoddy products and missed deadlines...

And Microsoft is worrying about being able to do business as usual.

= = = = = = =
>From: bb@cactii.net (Ben Buxton)
>Subject: the new microsoft companies

The justice department has released it's recommendations on
names for the two parts of Microsoft, post split:

MICROS~1 and MICROS~2

= = = = = = =
>From: KAPLOW_R@Eisner.DECUS.org (Bob Kaplow)
>Organization: DECUServe, where DECUS meets daily!
>Subject: Quote of the day

Quote of the day by Doug Steinfeld:

"I think we should partition Microsoft into an OS company (called "C:") and

an apps company ("D:"). Then we should blow away both partitions...."

= = = = = = =
>From: tdixon@phdinc.com
>Subject: Defective, vague, and ambiguous

Microsoft has argued in court that the US government's plan to break up the
company is "defective in numerous respects, making the document vague and
ambiguous."

In which respect it's much like Microsoft's documentation.

= = = = = = =
>From: ewan@epages.net (Ewan McPhail)
>Subject: Do you have an alibi?

An explosive device of some kind detonated at the Microsoft South Africa
offices in Johannesburg early this morning. Nobody was hurt and no data was
lost. Police however estimate that it will take around 15 years to interview
all the suspects.

Source : Linda Algie, a co-worker with snappy come-back lines :-)

URL Link :
http://www.itweb.co.za/sections/business/2000/0006021141.asp

= = = = = = =
>From: ezk@cs.columbia.edu (Erez Zadok)
>Subject: Microsoft DIV 2

Immediately after the announcement by Judge Penfield of splitting the
company in two, Microsoft sued Micro.Com Specialists, LLC, and Software
Research, Inc. (owners of www.soft.com) for infringement of copyrights and
cyber-squatting.

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