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When you have had one of those TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT days, try this:

On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by *Q-Tip. Be very sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy.

Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit, and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer and remove the thermometer and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the statement that: *every rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip is PERSONALLY tested.*

Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, "I am so glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-Tip Company."

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