| RHF Joke Archives | 
The Pokemon Craze is still sweeping the nation, but it was recently revealed that there would be some new POKEMON announced this summer. While these are not on the official list, here are a few that they are keeping under wraps.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NAME: Postall ELEMENT: Government TYPE: Civil Servant WEIGHT: 150 lbs
TECHNIQUES: Snail Crawl, Uzi Burst.
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Damaged Packages, Insufficient Postage.
USE AGAINST: Bill Collectors,
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Rush Deliveries
EVOLUTION: Evolves Into BureauKraut.
HABITAT: Usually seen walking across lawns. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=- NAME: BureauKraut ELEMENT: Government TYPE: Appointed WEIGHT: 235 lbs.
TECHNIQUES: Double-talk, Red Tape, stonewalling.
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Lying, cheating, kissing up
USE AGAINST: Common Sense, Morality, Truth
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Bribes, Corruption,
EVOLUTION: Evolves From Postall Evolves Into Politik
HABITAT: Back rooms, Bars, City Hall, Party Headquarters -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=- NAME: Politick ELEMENT: Government TYPE: Elected WEIGHT: Fat Cat
TECHNIQUES: Lies out of both sides of mouth, Campaign Promises.
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Sleep
USE AGAINST: Thriving economy, Developing Nations
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: High Taxes, Inflation, Bill Gates
EVOLUTION: Evolves From BureauKraut
HABITAT: Lobbyist Parties, Fund Raisers, Back Rooms, Campaign Trails, has occasionally been seen performing duties in office. (RARE) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NAME: Spoiledkid ELEMENT: Brat TYPE: Immature WEIGHT: 15-90 lbs. (depending on development)
TECHNIQUES: Screaming, Yelling, Crying,
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Terrorizing, Hitting, Calling Grandma
USE AGAINST: Good Taste, Better Judgement
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Other Brats
EVOLUTION: Evolves Into Jay-Dee
HABITAT: Homes around the world that allow Spoiledkid to get away with it. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=- NAME: Jay-Dee ELEMENT: Brat TYPE: Immature WEIGHT: 120 to 190 lbs.
TECHNIQUES: Intimidation, verbal abuse, physical abuse
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Laziness, drunkenness, horniness, theft
USE AGAINST: Parked Cars, Mom's Purse, Dad's Wallet, Anything not tied down.
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Other Jay-Dees
EVOLUTION: Evolves From Spoiledkid Evolves Into Konvikt
HABITAT: Street Corners, Back Alleys, Anyplace dark it can hide while waiting to attack. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=- NAME: Konvikt ELEMENT: Brat TYPE: Immature WEIGHT: 180 to 250 lbs.
TECHNIQUES: Armed Robbery, Grand Theft Auto, Assault and Battery
OTHER TECHNIQUES: White Collar Crime, Forgery, Used Car Sales
USE AGAINST: Society
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Itself, Prison Rape Gangs.
EVOLUTION: Evolves From Jay-Dee
HABITAT: Assorted Federal Prisons, In front of Parole Boards, Low Income Housing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NAME: Belcher ELEMENT: Grass/Poison TYPE: Bean WEIGHT: 3 lbs. for a dollar,
TECHNIQUES: Hard Blast Of Air, Embarrassment
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Bad Breath, Bad Manners, Bad Jokes,
USE AGAINST: Bullies, Polite Society,
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Impressing Dates, Job Interviews, and Public Speaking,
EVOLUTION: Evolves into Phharrt,
HABITAT: Usually found in school cafeterias and near soda pop, -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=- NAME: Phharrt ELEMENT: Grass/Poison TYPE: Bean WEIGHT: .01 grams
TECHNIQUES: Gas Attack, Embarrassment, Relief,
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Cutting through clothes without leaving a hole, Room Clearance,
USE AGAINST: Sensitive Noses, People You Don't Like, Car Pools
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Elevators, Dates, Job Promotions
EVOLUTION: Evolves from Belcher Evolves into Runzzz
HABITAT: Bars, Mexican Restaurants, -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=- NAME: Runzzz ELEMENT: Grass/Poison TYPE: Bean WEIGHT: 5 lbs,
TECHNIQUES: Stink, Mess, Diarrhea,
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Gross out, Slippery, Embarrassment, Tummy Rumbles
USE AGAINST: Restaurant Diners, Clean Diapers, Poor Garden Soil, Good Taste
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Skunks, Dirty Diapers, Laundry Day
EVOLUTION: Evolves from Phharrt,
HABITAT: Public Restrooms, Behind Bushes, Outhouses, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NAME: Muddle ELEMENT: Management TYPE: Corporate WEIGHT: 180 lbs.
TECHNIQUES: Paper Shuffling, Micro Management
OTHER TECHNIQUES: None: has no real power
USE AGAINST: Labor
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Bureaucracy, upper management, The system
EVOLUTION: Evolves Into Exekutiv
HABITAT: Working long hours in the office. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=- NAME: Exekutiv ELEMENT: Management TYPE: Corporate WEIGHT: 200 lbs.
TECHNIQUES: Double Talk, Back Stabbing, Blundering
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Downsizing, Rightsizing, Approving Unsafe Products
USE AGAINST: Shareholders, Consumers, Government, Everyone and Everything! (Hey, it'll even turn on you! It only looks out for Number One!)
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Shoddy Products, Shoddy Services, Shoddy Contracts
EVOLUTION: Evolves From Muddle Evolves Into Ceo
HABITAT: Health Spas, Night Clubs, Major Sporting Events, Casinos, (all on an expense account) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=- NAME: Ceo ELEMENT: Management TYPE: Corporate WEIGHT: 220 lbs.
TECHNIQUES: Stock Options, Downsizing, Bonuses
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Get Rich, Bonehead Decisions, Delegation
USE AGAINST: The Economy
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Unemployment, Inflation,
EVOLUTION: Evolves From Exekutiv
HABITAT: Riviera, Mansions, Five Star Hotels, Limousines. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NAME: Komik ELEMENT: Stage TYPE: Entertainer WEIGHT: 150 lbs
TECHNIQUES: Slapstick, Quick Jib, One-Liner
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Gross Humor, Fart Jokes, Props
USE AGAINST: The Blues, The Doldrums, Bad Karma, Sadness, Boredom
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: People who think they are funny, but aren't
EVOLUTION: Evolves Into Akteer
HABITAT: Comedy Clubs, Morning Radio Shows, Talk Shows, -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=- NAME: Akteer ELEMENT: Stage TYPE: Entertainer WEIGHT: 180 lbs.
TECHNIQUES: Pratfalls, Double-takes, Double-entendres
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Zingers, Insults
USE AGAINST: More expensive actors. Bad Scripts. Bad Directing
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Own Reputation, Really Bad Scripts, Network Honchos
EVOLUTION: Evolves From Komik Evolves Into Dramatik
HABITAT: Teen Comedies, TV Sit-coms, The WB. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=--=-=-=- NAME: Dramatik ELEMENT: Stage TYPE: Entertainer WEIGHT: 190 lbs
TECHNIQUES: Rolling Voice, Shakespeare, Death Scene
OTHER TECHNIQUES: Tear-jerkers, Action-Adventure, Comic Relief
USE AGAINST: Type.
NOT EFFECTIVE BATTLING: Lack Of Talent
EVOLUTION: Evolves from Akteer
HABITAT: Hollywood, New York, Eastern European Countries, On the set. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (C) 2000 John N! Swegan & Joke-A-Thon Humor List
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